Bum’s Rush

It happened again today.  I was given the bum’s rush.  There is nothing I hate more than egotistical people in a hurry, and corporations who say that I may only occupy a space for a set amount of time so they can attain maximum profitability. To be blunt this philosophy chaps my ass.  And today it was my pleasure to chastise an old women in the super market who attempted to give me the bums rush.

The store was quite for ten in the morning,  Pat Benetar was telling me to hit her and I only had a few item to acquire.  Life was good. Seeing as I had five small things I went to the self check out.  There were six open self check out lanes, little did I know my random selection would color my day.

I’m thinking there needs to be an update on modern etiquette.   The world is devolving into nothing more than a bunch grunting whining savages with a sense of entitlement the size of Mars.  I scanned my items and sent them rolling down the conveyor belt.  As I was paying an older woman parked her over-flowing cart just about on my feet.  I looked up and her and she sheepishly rolled it back a centimeter or so.  I collected my change and went to bag my purchase.  I had no sooner stepped away from the scanner and this woman was starting her purchasing.  Her items were rolling down mixing with mine.

I turned and said “Excuse me, do you mind?  I have not finished.”

“You paid. You’re done.” was her reply.

“Oh, and the final step of bagging is silly I suppose.”  I quipped as I began fishing my items from hers and bagging them up.

At this point she noticed I was touching her purchases and announces loudly to no one in particular that I had best not be stealing her canned tomatoes. Not being a thief, or hard pressed for food, I was offended.  Here she was in such a rush that she chose the only lane with a customer at self check out and now she is accusing me of unlikely high jinx.

I had to respond.

“Perhaps, if you had put on your spectacles you would have seen there were other open lanes.  Oh, and be sure to was your groceries I’ve got a case of Rhinosinusitis and acute coryza.”  I promptly cough in the general direction of her vegetables then picked up my bag and left.



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