Rejection takes many forms. Personal response to rejection another array. Most days being told no or having something not go my way does not bother me in the least. Today I experienced the worst sort of rejection, that of a returned gift. At first there was the happiness that something lost had been found, but with it came the realization that the time and trouble and effort and energy and love I put in to creating something special for someone meant less than shit to them.
I am left to ponder all the nuances of a returned gift and why this person to whom the gift was sent rejected it. I will not verbalize excuses for them. I will not brush it off as if it means naught either. I am not deeply hurt, at least I do not think I am. I want an acknowledgement of what happened, but part of what stings is the knowledge that this person is aware of what transpired and has not a damn thing to say. I am uncertain if this is callousness or cowardice.
If you expect me to give then you had best be willing to receive. This is the second time something of this sort has happened, and like American baseball I will give one more chance. But honestly three strikes and you are out. My kindness has it’s limits, my smile is not for those who abuse my good will. Perhaps my good nature is seen as a weak and horrible thing to be tested and tried? Is that a trial you want to seek? To make down trodden that which scrapes to find joy where daily there is less and less? The sun will shine where it is allowed. And if it is continued to be made clear that it is not wanted then darkness and the nothing it implies is all there will be for you.