Full Circle

I recently found myself engaged in an argument of sorts.  Some sort of insanity embraced me making me respond to stupid charges of days gone by.  Since this explosion I have slept more peacefully and felt more at ease.  I am told the tumult on the other end is not so nice, I have been egged to go look and see… I will not.

My life will move forward on the path it is meant to travel.

Hopefully something good came out of all the drama, hopefully something better will follow for the other involved.  Image

 

Do you know where you’re going

Right before sleep ideas rush in. Thoughts jumble and clank and vie for attention. Tonight my mind races around chasing two thoughts when will I die and what fucking purpose does my life actually have. It’s a double negative I’m afraid. I’ll never die and my life purpose is none. I am trapped in this not quite hellish existence.

It feel like the characters of Our Town. Buried, talking to themselves for eternity. Even when I die, I’ll still be with myself. This is distressing.

I give in as I have no more fight. There is nothing here for me. My children no longer need me. I’ve no one who will miss me other than in passing thought. Intrinsically my life holds little to no value except that of being a burden to an already over-crowded planet.

There is no more thinking and planning for that maybe one day event.

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