There are pretenders among us. People, men and women, who claim to be damaged because of a partner who cheated on them either in a dating situation or a marriage. Then there are the people who really are suffering because they were used, and abused physically and mentally.
The first type of person here loves drama and chaos. They are selfish and self-serving and they try to gain love of an individual by saying they do not know if they can love or trust again. You will pardon me if I decry your lies. You are emotionally butt hurt and only seek to control fully a relationship by false pretense and words. In the end, should you be so lucky as to find someone who “loves” you who then makes the move to be with you… your relationship will fail because you are not weak, and you do not need a hero. You are a strong, cut throat, back stabby individual hell bent on revenge.
The second individual, the real victim, the man or woman who has been beaten, verbally demeaned, raped, and afflicted with some of the worst things humanity has to offer needs love, needs the hero, and is willing to embrace flaws, misunderstandings and open themselves to possibly being hurt again. The recognize that good things take work to make them better and their loyalty far exceeds the temperamental whirlwind of a lover scorned. However once they lose faith and trust with someone it is almost impossible to recover. These people are not perfect. Their pain is real not based on their own disappointed expectations of another.
So, for those of you out there claiming to be somehow scarred for life because a partner cheated or failed to live up to your expectations take a good long hard look in the mirror and ask yourself, did they beat me? did they break my bones? did they treat me as if I were no better than a bug on the wall to be squashed? Certainly you learned a lesson in trust and betrayal get over it an move on. There are people who are actually suffering from more than just emotional butt hurt.