Closing Time

Man made time, and dates no doubt to bring order to the chaotic idea of eternity.  In open ended reflection I seek to create new resolve.  I heard it said once, that when you stand close to someone you catch their dreams.  I wonder if anyone has caught mine?

I grew leaps and bounds in 2013.  I learned letting go does not mean giving up.  Cling too tightly to one ideal and you lose sight, perspective and hope.  Releasing myself from the anchor expectation has allowed me to rise to the surface and fill my burning lungs with much needed life.  Much of the year has been spent treading water.  Stupidly waiting for an anchor to rise.  I can see the scars where I let destructive ideals bind me.  Then I realized I did not have to stay close to the anchor, I am free to swim away, and yet for so long I stared at it in contemplation.  People around me prodding me toward the shores of reality saved me from my folly while still allowing me, to be me.  I spent so long with this anchor, thinking it was security, hating the pain it brought by its weight but needing the fixed point that I did not realize it was drowning me.  Stealing my life from me.  It is a crazy amazing thing when you realize you want to live life and not the shadowy idea of one.  I thank my Shooting Star for saving me.  Sometimes goodbye really is a second chance.

I am on the shore now and the horizon that draws closer is the most amazing, scary, thrilling, and wonderful thing.  New beginnings await.  2014 bring it on!

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